Tortured Ideals

Misinterpreted

Mislead

Perverted words

And tortured ideals

But who to trust

When they all disagree

On what’s a must

Some say “More freedom!”

Unless you are gay

Or a woman

Or black

Or brown

Others say

“Get out of the Middle East!”

“It’s not our fight!”

But what about that

Disastrous plane flight

And the towers ablaze

Am I in a dream

Or do we really have two sides

With no in between?

That’s my future your playing with,

By the way

My voice is drowned

In the volatile crowd

I don’t have money for a Super PAC

How are those legal anyway?

The concept is simply whack

I’m too young to vote

But old enough to know

This is a bad direction to go

Why don’t you all shut up

And look around

Before this all-out boxing match

Starts another round

 

Not So Sweet, A Lesson Learned

This poem is a little old, I wrote it 2/14/2012

 

 

His hand was laced with mine

As you slowly passed us by

I saw you double take

As he bent down to nuzzle my face

Revenge was not so sweet as I thought it would be

It was dark and sour

My lowest and most pathetic hour

He held me close

And moved in

Knowing well that you were watching

It was a burn that in the end

Hurt both ways

You may have done the same to me

But that was no excuse

It gnawed me up inside

Like a deadly hearticide

And all those tears I once had cried

Came back to choke and drown

But he doesn’t know

And I’m not using him

I just wanted you to see

How much better I am without you

Revenge was not so sweet as I thought it would be

 

Goodbye Uncle John

My uncle John died on March 21, 2012.  I wrote this poem two days after.

Goodbye Uncle John

It hurts to say so long

All the memories are clearer now

Precious and we’ll never forget

Just how much to us you meant

Goodbye Uncle John

For a man who spoke so few

I have so many words for you

It’s not enough to say ‘”I love,”

And it’s not enough to say “I miss,”

Because it comes down to a single moment

One more hug

One  more laugh

One more meal

But even then I still would feel

A need for just once more

To see you walking through the door

Smiling gruffly just once more

Goodbye Uncle John

Husband

Father

Cousin

Friend

Someday we’ll meet again

But until then

Goodbye Uncle John

It hurts to say so long

You may not be here

But you will never be gone

I Walked on Rainbow

So, I wrote this last night. Inspiration is unclear still, but it seemed apropos considering it’s my birthday, even if it’s a little depressing.  So much has happened in this year alone, I feel ninety instead of sixteen. New school, new city, new friends, LOVE (which wasn’t something I had to deal with at my last school). I promise at some point here I will get around to everyone’s pages. Recent personal  happenings are keeping my schedule a little erratic.

Cheers from the new old lady 😉

There was a time so long ago

When my feet touched nothin’ but rainbow

I skipped

And I hopped

I ran

And I danced

Me myself and I

Needed no romance

The sky was blue

And the grass was green

Everything I had

Was all I could need

No worries

No pain

No cold hard truth

My worst hurt was when

I lost a baby tooth

Reality was too big

For my naive eyes to see

My world was so small

I bounced of its walls with glee

And my feet touched nothin’ but rainbow

Colors shimmered and scattered

With my every footfall

Dropping down like painted tears

Of course I thought they were only rain

Tears are for those who have experienced pain

That rainbow was once so wide

I had to run a mile to the other side

It slowly shrank

As I grew up

Until I was on tip toes

And then one day

POOF!

I fell down

Off my rainbow

Like a bird from its nest

It had just disappeared

And so childhood’s fog cleared

I knew not where to go

Having lost my compass of a rainbow

For a while I was lost

And I probably still am

It’s much harder to find one’s way

On crude, solid land

My pot of gold exists somewhere

And I’ll keep on looking

Even though life’s not always fair

Indifferent Army

Carbon copies one by one

Built to kill and never stun

Forward they march

Through nervous streets

Responding to an unheard beat

One thousand soldiers of one mind

Actions effortlessly synchronized

No one can successfully retaliate

Against an army not fueled by hate

Crimes of logic not of passion

Executed in an orderly fashion

Fingers on triggers do not flinch

Black killer bullets never miss

Death seduces life with its metallic kiss

The cold hard truth out there to see

Is that logic and greed outweigh humanity

For every twenty guns there is but one open heart

For every healed soul there are a hundred red marks

In Transition

Almost there

Yet not quite

Suspended in air

Yet too low for flight

Left or right

That is the question

One is comfort

And familiarity

The other is new

And possible calamity

Left or right

That is the question

One is improvement

The other betrayal

Either way

The knife will cut deep

Either way

I’m sure to lose sleep

But what if I rose up

From these damp heavy ashes

And didn’t stop to wait for luck

And didn’t look at a sign

Left or right

To tell me the future

That is already mine

Dear Future Self

 I wrote this as a poem to my future self because sometimes we make mistakes that we look back on and hate ourselves for, but maybe those mistakes really were for the better.

Future self

Please don’t regret

Times I said

Not what I meant

You are of

My mistakes

It’s not a puzzle

That one piece makes

I am still charting

The course of our life

My map is blank

Save a thin short line

Representing time

Spent turning into you

And sailing toward

Horizons

A more comforting

Shade of blue

I will struggle

And I will fall

But I will always

Rise above all

I don’t know where you are

And I barely know where you have been

But I am you

And you are me

Someday we will meet

And both see

That I did my best

For you

And for me