Running from the Wind

31 12 2011

This is a poem I wrote and then pondered editing for a while and then finally did so.  The first version is free verse, the second sonnet. Several words were changed, but I believe the same overall meaning is conveyed.

 

Version I

I’m running from the wind

But it’s catching up with me

On it rides

A part of my life I do not wish to see

Fate is NOT inevitable

To me it is questionable

I can push the facts down

Down, Down, Down

To a place they will never be found

By you or by me

I’ll show the world

That there is nothing left to see

I’m running from the wind

In a chase that will never end

Until I come to terms

With the emotional hurricane

Inside of me

 

Version II

I am running from the wind

But it’s catching up with me

It stalks me every bend

And carries truths I’m scared to see

 

I dig myself holes and tunnels deep

And buy precious time

Yet still it nips my feet

And never lets peace me mine

 

I push facts far, far down

To a lightless void abyss

And cross my fingers they won’t be found

What’s not there the world can’t miss

 

My secrets make me so alone

Sometimes I wish that they were known

 

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11 responses

1 01 2012
willowdot21

Both styles of poem are beautiful they both make my heart ache xx

1 01 2012
catcherofstars

Really? Perhaps it doesn’t matter the form of the poem as much as the message.
Andrea

1 01 2012
Cat Forsley

The message is beautiful – Both forms are stunning – Happy New Year !!!!
Perhaps the first is more cerebral and the second more heart / soul ? just an idea – best and brightest to You for 2012 ! xx Cat

1 01 2012
catcherofstars

Thank you and welcome to the New Year yourself!!!!
I think you are right, it’s interesting to compare the two.
Wishing you a prosperous one!!!
AZ xx

1 01 2012
Cat Forsley

And you – Full of abundance and Love —— 🙂
xxC

1 01 2012
bardessdmdenton

Yes, I think Cat Forsley is right. I lean towards the second as the favorite…but that is because of the last lines…’My secrets make me so alone
Sometimes I wish that they were known’

And so you will bring them into the light of your writing…and not just for catharsis, but also to reach out to the secrets of others.

1 01 2012
catcherofstars

Sharing a secret is like having a weight lifted off your shoulders, if you tell it to the right person. If it’s the wrong person, then the weight is doubled.
Welcome to 2012!!! xxxxx
Andrea

4 01 2012
bardessdmdenton

Yes! So sharing a secret is like sharing a poem…or a painting…or any passion or sense or sensibility. You are so wise, AZ!

2 01 2012
lscotthoughts

Both forms are beautiful and I really don’t have a favorite, as I’ve written both. If these are true to life, I hope you find the right person to share your utmost secrets with, so you can feel free and at peace~xx

2 01 2012
MikeP

I love the free verse but the sonnet speaks to me.

3 01 2012
Vampire Weather

I felt a defined flow in the second one, but honestly that is neither a criticism or compliment. The flow of the poem can often add to the dismay, beauty, frustration, or any other emotion inserted. When my flows break and wander it usually denotes stronger emotions that caused me to set aside my normal boundaries and just write. In that sense I really agree with Willow and I like both of them. The first one lends more of an agitating or despairing feel, the second seems more passive in its flow. They are both just immaculately lovely. Thank you for sharing!

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