Wintery Sensations

13 12 2011

Droplets of almost snow but not quite rain

Tapping on the window pane

Scratchy wool on soft skin

Chunky thick soup

Warms deep within

Delicious apple pie

Whose scent makes you sigh

An oversize sweater

With whom you can survive any weather

Crinkly gift paper

Shiny sleek bows

Warm hugs from your kin

The cookies they gave you

In a container of tin

Carolers as they sing

And warm tidings bring

Wintery sensations

 

 

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8 responses

13 12 2011
willowdot21

wonderful!

13 12 2011
catcherofstars

The christmas spirit manifests within me……finally

14 12 2011
Jules

nice poem. i really like the winter/holiday imagery, but i think it would really benefit from a uniform rhyming scheme. right now it looks like this:

a
a
b
c
b
d
d
e
e
f
g
h
i
h
j
j
k

just a thought but maybe you could tweak it to a-a-b-c-b-d-d-e-f-e-g-g-h-i-h-j-j. i think you’ll find that it gives the poem a more flowing rhythm. a great example of this is much of robert frost’s work, like this one http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/20519.

Happy versing! 🙂

14 12 2011
catcherofstars

I know that poem, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Winter Evening”, it’s my favorite of his works, thanks for the tip, I’ll try it for my next poem. I usually don’t bother with a rhyming scheme because I think very erratically but I will give it a shot on one of my future poems! Thanks for visiting and happy versing to you!:)

15 12 2011
Jules

no problem! and thanks for taking the critique so well! 🙂
i know that feeling of whacking away at the keyboard to get something down while the inspiration is flowing, but i’ve also seen that as hard as it is, a thorough revision once the emotions have cooled can let you express those feelings even more powerfully.

15 12 2011
catcherofstars

You are so right! That’s actually what I did with the poem “Unhealthy Obsession” and I am extremely pleased with how that poem turned out, thanks again for the stellar advice!

14 12 2011
lscotthoughts

This is wonderful; gives me a cozy feeling, which I love at this time of year!

14 12 2011
catcherofstars

Thank you, I hoped to do my favorite time of year a justice by writing this poem

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